The Double Win is Unnatural

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Win-Win Requires High Self-Esteem

The Double Win appears simple on the surface. Read a self-help book or two. Learn about the qualities of a win-win person and then go out and succeed. After all, what's so hard about applying "If I let the other person win, I win, too"? Actually, quite a bit.

Before we can successfully practice "simple" Double Win precepts, we have to recognize three major hurdles that stand in our way:
  1. The win-lose philosophy is natural.
  2. The win-lose philosophy is dominant in our society.
  3. The win-lose philosophy is habit-forming and addicting.
We all live in a culture that is basically dedicated to the win-lose philosophy. It's a point of view that is natural enough. No one blames you for "looking out for No. 1," as long as you are discreet and law-abiding about it.

The Double Win, however, is unnatural. The Double Win attitude requires self-examination, understanding, self-discipline, and maturity.

Above all, it takes high self-esteem. Only when you are motivated by intrinsic values more than competition and comparison can you be a true Double Winner. In reality, you only compete with your own self-image.

© 2007 by Denis Waitley

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